Thursday, February 7, 2013

10. Social Anxiety

Yep, I sorta kinda have a major case of social anxiety. I'm sadly awkward when I'm just sitting there or trying to talk to someone, and I only really ever talk to my main group of friends. Even when I'm walking from class to class I try not to look at anyone and just stay out of the way. Even raising my hand to answer a question in class is terrifying because I hate speaking in front of a group of people by myself. Like, preforming with a band would be fine. Speaking of preforming with bands, I met Skinny Lister last night and they just seemed to get nicer (also, go look up Dan from Skinny Lister on Google images; I'm going to freeze him in carbonite for like 11 years then I'm going to marry him, but more on that story later) and my mom told them that I learned to play Rollin' Over (one of their songs) and even the accordion part on my guitar and Lanna (the girl of the group) said that the next time they come near here we need to get in touch and I can play it with them. And I think that would be fine because I wouldn't have to speak by myself, I would get to do something I love (which is play the guitar) with a group of people who love music just as much as I do. But back on the topic of social anxiety, I've been doing some research. I told my parents that I thought I had social anxiety and apparently that would make sense, because my mom has a tiny bit of social anxiety, though it's mostly just regular anxiety. Just making it through the school day is harder than it should be. But back to last night, I realized just how comfortable I am around people just like me. But I can only find them at concerts, and then it's not like I'm gonna just start up a conversation in the middle of a mosh pit and become instant best friends. It's like I feel at home whenever I'm at a concert, and I wish it could be like that all the time. But hopefully one day I'll find my soulmate and everyday life with be as great as those occasional nights.

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